sorry it's been so long since the last entry. i've been moving a third of the way across the country. the move was exhausting, but the post-move is shaping up to be downright dehabilitative.

i'm unemployed at the current moment but that doesn't bother me. i know i can find a job. the looming question mark for me is, what do i want that job to be?

for a bit now, i've considered being a professor, or defintiely going to grad school. but i'm having a really hard time justifying that life choice. i say i want a revolution...i say we need a revolution...but can i really be proactive if i maintain the ever-removed academian lifestyle? the real action happens in the trenches, right? can activism bow to the demands of a strenuous class schedule? can i remove myself from a sit-in to prep for a class? can i really teach my students to fight for what they believe in when i myself can struggle for the cause while sipping sherry and listening to npr, shaking my head as the next bipartisan president screws our world to the ground? can i listen, learn and teach without doing? can i study history if i'm not gonna change it? or at least become a part of it?

it's all overwhelming. special thanks to sadie for getting me to think about this.

-h

8 june 2002 - 19:33

behind - ahead