i wish i could say all the things on my mind to you. i wish i could verbalize the volumes i speak with my eyes. i wish i could hold you in a way that only a lover can (with the coy subtlety of a passion recognized time after time). But, yes, more than anything else right now, i wish i could kiss you. I wish i could feel the beauty and poetry a mouth like yours has to offer.

but it is not my turn, not my time. so, i will perservere. i will test out my heart on others. i will throw a blind eye towards your displays of affection. i will be your friend. and i will close my eyes as to remember, record moments when your hand touches my bare leg. i will take in the moments when it's you and me ... with the rest of the world a distant blur; when us two become just us and you stare at me as if i was all you needed. i will breathe in those moments, as to have something to exhale after your platonic tryst with me has come to a close.

why do you want to feel special? is it so you can believe that someone who loves as deeply as i could love someone like you? cause i'm tired of that game. and it never works out the way you want it to. cause the love you need, can only be found within you.

cause i know you would never fly half way around the world to see me smile. one day maybe, but not today.

04 May, 2003 - 04:08

behind - ahead